Since Fidel Castro will no longer be President of Cuba, now is the best time to share some of your favorite Castro jokes here!
Fidel Castro is giving a speech in La Habana, one of his famous six-hour speeches before a crowd of thousands of Cubans. In the middle of a sentence, he is interrupted by a very loud food vendor shouting “Popcorn! Peanuts!” El Presidente is annoyed and briefly surveys the crowd for the loud-mouthed vendor before continuing his speech. Again, Fidel is interrupted mid-sentence by the words “Popcorn! Peanuts!” Fidel angrily scans the crowd for the food vendor, doesn’t see him, and continues his speech. Again, someone calls out “Popcorn! Peanuts!” This time Castro is pissed. He roars into the crowd, “The next son of a bitch who cries out ‘Popcorn! Peanuts!’ is gonna be on the first boat to Miami!” At which point the entire crowd screams, “Popcorn! Peanuts!”
Please leave your favorite Castro joke as a comment.
Entries (RSS)
May 5th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Hilarious, popular post I see. Yes, who would not be eager to join the urban decay of western society. Here’s an even funnier joke; Democracy.
Get it? I love that joke. Doesn’t even need a build-up.
May 15th, 2009 at 7:08 am
How about this fucking motherfucker:
That your mother alone in a room and then Fidel arrives and tells him his then 6 hours to bring the Castro Miami, having already fucked your mother is discriminated by the fucking racist Americans are buying a car to go to Mexico and ayi to go by boat to Cuba, and the bullshit stop for the gringos suspected drug dealer and he planted the evidence and hold for life, then you d be super repentant mother by yelling “Popcorn, Peanuts” takes juice to you have no desire to hand over what you do not have. ” and loyalty is not fuckin ‘like your pussy when it came out that wait to be president and not what was said when the mere cock.
May 16th, 2009 at 6:22 am
Dear Dario,
Living in new York City, I am used to hearing broken English but even I must admit that I can’t understand what the hell you’re saying. I got the “motherfucker” part and that it’s aimed at me, so I assume you’re cursing me out. I’ve actually forwarded your comment to three different people, none of whom can make sense of what you’re saying. When was Castro busted for selling drugs, and did the racist gringo cops really plant the evidence and hold him for life? When did my mother buy a car to go to Mexico and then take a boat to Cuba? Given you obviously don’t know how to write coherent sentences in English, can you even be sure that you understand what you read on my blog? Obviously I must have offended you deeply for you to use such salty language towards me. You must certainly love Fidel Castro.
Judging from your hilariously weak command of the English language and your fervent support for Fidel Castro and “la revolucion”, I must assume that you are one of the following:
1) A member of the Cuban Communist Party
2) A New York Times editor or reporter
3) An on-air personality from Radio America (are they still around?)
4) An American college student, possibly a liberal arts major
5) Naomi Klein
6) Another asshole with a closet full of Che Guevara t-shirts
Next time do your rant in Spanish, pendejo. And try to get your money back on that English Sin Barreras DVD package.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
you guys are all a bunch of dumb jerks, fidel has done more good for cuba then you americans ever did for cuba, if you actually looked up the history of fidel and his political and social ideals im sure you would change your minds. by the way, you can be religous and be a communist at the same time
July 10th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
by the way
those comments you’ve made are disgusting, false and overall shameful i feel disgraced just by reading it aloud
September 5th, 2009 at 5:47 am
HIJO DE P…. ACABO CON CUBA..POR CULPA DE EL YO ESTOY EN OTRO PAIS EN VES DE ESTAR EN DONDE NACI..F..Y… PEROO ASECINO
September 7th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
To Mr. ?
What has Fidel done for Cuba besides throw people in jail or kick them out of the country for speaking out against the government? Liberal idiots like you defend people like Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro but gladly badmouth former President George W. Bush. While Bush does deserve lots of criticism, in this country you will not have to worry about being thrown into jail or worse for speaking ill of the government or of its President.
If the United States adopted a Castro-style policy, every Iraq War protestor would be sitting in federal prison right now, or sent to Guantanamo Bay for suspicion of being a terrorist. Hmmm….millions of liberals sitting in a prison cell? Sounds like a good start! Just kidding. Unlike your buddy Fidel, I don’t think you should go to jail for speaking your mind.
If you think Fidel has done so much for Cuba perhaps you should move there. I love how commie punks like you defend socialist societies like Cuba’s yet have never been there. Why don’t you step out of your professor’s classroom and actually speak to the people who have escaped Cuba, or better yet, go there yourself.
I asked people to submit Castro jokes as a comment, not mindless drivel from “useful idiots” such as yourself. Why can’t you write in broken English like the other commenters? At least then I’d have the pleasure of not understanding what the hell you’re saying.
October 25th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
How can you joke about Fidel. He is a good man and have done much good for Cuba. Cuba was the mafias land before Fidel. And its not his fault the economy there is fucked. Its USAs governments. They dont let Cuba import or export anything. I hope Obama keeps his promises. He wants to let Cuba import and export. And the poeple who left Cuba could choose them selves. And the people who were thrown in jail were a threat for the cuntry. All countries have people in jail becase they are a threat to the cuntry. Only differens is that the media shows Cubas prisoners to make Fidel look bad. And i dont think Fidel is perfect. But no man is. And at least he tried.
October 25th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Someone,
I agree that the U.S. should lift their embargo against Cuba. It has done nothing to weaken the socialist regime. But Cuba is free to trade with other countries besides the U.S. I wasn’t aware that Obama was considering lifting the embargo, but I hope he does, too. Exposing Cuba to american products is a great way to expose Cubans to capitalism and maybe see the kind of progress that has happened in socialist countries like China and Vietnam, both of whom have adopted capitalism and given their citizens economic freedom (political freedom is another issue, unfortunately).
Can you name one good thing Castro has accomplished for Cuba? Anyone can get handouts from a wealthier country (first the Soviet Union, now from Venezuela and Bolivia); that’s certainly not an accomplishment. While the U.S. embargo has played a part in Cuba’s economic failure, the collapse of the Soviet Union in the 1990s also played a part, as the USSR was Cuba’s sugar daddy, giving them subsidies by selling Cuba everything from oil to machinery at a very low price. There was at least a decade or two between the fall of the USSR and the rise of Venezuela under Hugo Chavez.
The people in Cuban prison were threats to the country? That may be true for the thieves and murderers, but what about the people Castro threw behind bars just for the crime of having HIV/AIDS? And the political prisoners whose crimes included trying to run for political office without being a member of the Cuban Communist Party, those who dared to speak out against Fidel or the government.
While I do believe that the United States has its own share of political prisoners (i.e., those who have committed “drug crimes”), at least we have the freedom to speak out against highly unpopular Presidents like George W. Bush or even Barack Obama, something Castro has never allosed Cubans to have. Think about all the jokes, parodies and other ways we have ridiculed President Bush. We’ve called him everything from a monkey to a Nazi to an idiot. Even worse things have been said by Americans about the Republican Party.
While I may not agree with everything that is said about the Party and the President, I love the fact that we live in a society where anyone can basically curse out the President and not have to worry about being thrown into jail. According to Castro’s logic, a liberal protesting the Iraq War or calling for George Bush’s impeachment is a threat to the U.S.
I couldn’t even imagine a Cuban who would dare publicly call for Castro’s resignation without being thrown into prison. The U.S. throws people in jail for actions, while Castro threw people in jail for having ideas. How much of a threat can an idea possibly be? Ideas didn’t destroy the World Trade Center. Ideas didn’t defeat the British during the American Revolution. Ideas didn’t defeat Bautista’s regime. Actions did all that. Only an asshole would be truly threatened by ideas.
Also, last I checked it was illegal for Cubans to leave Cuba without authorization from the Cuban government. And few Cubans are allowed to leave Cuba to go to the United States.